It Won't Be Long
by SarahLovesGlee
Summary: An exploration of the possibility of Kurt being demisexual, and how that would affect his relationship with Blaine.


Prior to his return to McKinley, Kurt had met with David Karofsky. In that meeting, he had told Dave to start attending PFLAG meetings. That evening, alone and on his laptop, Kurt thinks about what he'd said. He remembers what he'd said to Blaine about bisexuality not being real, and he realizes that he really knows very little about the LGBT community as whole. He does a few Google searches, and spends the better part of his evening browsing Wikipedia articles on sexual identity. And then something catches his eye.

"Demisexual – a sexual orientation in which an individual only feels sexual attraction once an emotional connection is formed"

Kurt's eyes widen and his breath catches as he reads, suddenly understanding several things at once. His aversion to porn, his preference for simple _emotional_ romance and his quickly developing interest in his boyfriend's body.

It wasn't Kurt's embarrassment about sex that had made his kick Blaine out of the room weeks before – it was the embarrassment over the fact that whenever the concept of sex snuck into his mind, it was only ever in the context of Blaine. Sex was messy and scary and confusing, but Blaine was none of those things. Blaine was sweet and kind and gentle and handsome. But Blaine didn't like him, or so he'd thought, so without that emotional connection, there was no chance of sex, whatsoever.

But now, Blaine liked him back. They'd kissed several times, and each time, Kurt found it harder to stop. Blaine would always pull away, most likely trying to avoid pressuring Kurt. And Kurt let Blaine retreat, but more and more reluctantly as time wore on.

Demisexual. Kurt was demisexual. He wasn't just strange or shy or an awkward 'baby penguin.' This was as real as his homosexuality. This was okay.

He started Googling again, desperate to find anything he could on the matter. Things to avoid during intimacy, things to be sure to do. He was amazed at the resources. More than that, he was amazed at how much sense it all made.

He reads well into the night, pausing only to reply to Blaine's "Good night!" text. How is he going to tell Blaine? For all he read, he didn't see anything about telling a partner. How would he tell Blaine?

* * *

He sees Blaine at school the next day, and it takes all the self-restraint he has to not blurt out: "We need to talk!" Blaine already knew about his impending return to McKinley, surely beginning a conversation like that would make him fear the worst.

When lunch rolls around, Kurt seizes the opportunity.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?"

Blaine nods, confusion creasing the skin on his forehead.

"Of course, yeah. Uh, want to go back to my room?"

They're silent as they walk to the room. Blaine unlocks the door, and moves to sit cross-legged on the bed. Kurt sits across from Blaine, his legs curled underneath him.

"What's up?" Blaine asks, and Kurt hears a twinge of concern in his voice.

"Everything's fine." Kurt says with a small smile. "I just had an… epiphany of sorts last night."

Blaine looks relieved, but still a bit confused.

"Okay, what was it" Blaine asks.

"I was reading about sexual identity last night. I realized I didn't really know anything about it, so I thought I should do some reading. I, uh. Do you know a demisexual is?"

Blaine nods slowly.

"I've seen the word a bit, but I can't say I've research it extensively."

The words are encouraging enough for Kurt to continue.

"It described me perfectly, Blaine. Everything about it. It just made so much sense to me. Like how I don't like porn. It's because there's no emotions there, between the guys or between me and the guys. There were just so many things like that. And it was, I don't know, good to realize that I wasn't just a freak or anything, but I just felt so oblivious. I hadn't realized it at all. I just thought I was really romantic."

Blaine's just listening quietly, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You're not upset, are you?" Blaine asks, finally.

"What? No!" Kurt answers. "I just don't know what to do now that I've realized it, really."

Blaine's thoughtful again. A good while passes before he speaks.

"I want to ask you something." Blaine says. "And I want an honest answer. I don't want you to give me the answer you think I want, or the answer that's easier for you to say. I just want to know something."

Kurt's a little bit anxious, but he agrees. Blaine takes a deep breath.

"How does knowing this affect how you see our relationship?"

Kurt thinks a moment. He doesn't want to respond too quickly; he wants to put a good amount of thought into his answer.

"Like, what does 'emotional connection' mean for you specifically?"

This makes Kurt's answer easier, but still harder to say.

"I'm going to be completely honest with you." He says, and Blaine nods. "I already feel emotionally connected to you. To the extent that I am suddenly interested in sexual activity with you. It's really new for me, and it's confusing, but the interest is definitely there. I don't think I'm ready to try anything quite yet, and I think that I won't be until, uhm, we've said those three words. I think that's the connection I'll need."

It's a cryptic answer, but Blaine seems to understand.

"Okay." Blaine says. "That all sounds good to me."

Kurt feels like he's spent an unfair majority of the time talking.

"What about you?" he asks, trying to figure out more about how Blaine feels. "What do you think about all this? Are you, uh, interested or ready?"

It's so awkward to talk about, but Kurt knows it's important.

"It's pretty much the same for me as you were saying. I, well, I've definitely been thinking about that. With you. I hope you're not grossed out."

Kurt shakes his head. He's just admitted to the same, after all.

"But I'm not ready yet. Waiting for, uh, that extra level of emotional connection sounds good to me. I just really want whatever we do together to really mean something, and not just be for the sake of – uh – getting off."

It's the best answer Kurt could have hoped for really. The conversation as a whole hasn't been anywhere near as bad as he had worried about.

"Lie down." He says softly, moving to crawl up the bed to lie down beside Blaine. The boys curl up together, both on their sides, facing each other. Kurt wraps his free arm around Blaine's torso, pulling him closer together so that their bodies are pressed together. As he leans in for a kiss, he whispers.

"It's not going to be all that long, is it?"

Blaine chuckles before he replies.

"I highly doubt it."

And then they're kissing, and it's tender and passionate and also a little raw and desperate. They barely notice the warning bell when it rings, and have to run back to class to avoid being late. Both boys are distracted through their afternoon classes, one main thought in their minds.

"It won't be long at all."

* * *

Thanks for reading! This is just a little explorative piece that popped into my head a while ago. Not everyone recognizes demisexuality as an orientation, and there aren't actually as many resources as Kurt decribed - there isn't even a Wikipedia page. However, in researching orientation, the first thing that crossed my mind when reading about demisexuality was Kurt. It seems to line up pretty well to me.

This is not meant to be a definitive view of Kurt's sexuality, but merely an exploration. Please let me know what you think of this story! Thanks!


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